arirashkae: (Killing Everything)
[personal profile] arirashkae

I was playing with a scene in my head while at work. I don't know if I'll ever use it, in any context, but I think I have to. 

The basic premise is the MacGuffin dragged the current viewpoint character into an alternate dimension very similar to her "home" one. (Technically, her's is the AU to the main story. She didn't survive in the main line.) She thinks this is pretty cool, finds a younger brother (who was never born in her world, since she lived to grow up), has escapades, etc, etc.

Then some of "her" people come through, looking for her. And it turns out she's been there too long, and if she tried to go back, it'd kill her. She's stuck. I have this one image of them saluting each other, right before the rest go home and leave her there. Forever.

She left friends behind. Her mother is going to be told she was essentially lost in action, with no body to bury. But she's not dead. And she can't tell anyone that, and no one else will/is allowed to.

All of a sudden it hits her that she's on the other side of the looking glass for keeps. Everything she ever knew up till about a year ago is gone, beyond reclaiming. 

This isn't the grief of a lost love, or a parent, or a child. This is literally her entire world. Here, her mother buried her when she was 3 days old. None of the people she knew know her. They're the same, but not.

And seeing it through her eyes, trying to craft that hollow feeling that she's alone, yeah, I had to work very hard not to start bawling at work. I couldn't exactly tell everyone I was grieving on behalf of a fictional character I created and was currently torturing.

I might not have had a job after that. :D

Of course, then there are the moments when characters get snarky and I have to try not to giggle madly at random an/or inopportune times.


´╗┐Anyone else have this kind of issue? 

Date: 2013-07-11 12:23 am (UTC)
dragondancer5150: (General - Writing Acceptable Schitzophre)
From: [personal profile] dragondancer5150
Haha, yeah, that sounds kind of familiar. I'll be at work, working out some glitch or issue in my head, then something will click and I'll go "oh!".

Out loud.

Not loudly, but aloud.

And hope no one heard me. XD

I've also been known to snicker at inopportune times. XD

Also, FWIW, that story sounds heartbreaking and awesome. <3

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